Sailing Sideways Up the Back Hole of Not Sane-ness: Best Records Of 2013, Says Me.

If you've ever read my Blog before, you know I'm way into several different genres of music. I'm not even going to go into a long disclaimer again this year. Suffice it to say that this will be an eclectic list. Music is music, you like it or don't. Labels are for bottles of pills. Furthermore,these are in no particular order. Ranking is for Roger. Let's DO this, sexy internet warlocks and witches!

GIUDA- Let's Do It Again
70s inspired, bell bottom wearing, soccer playin', chant along, sing along, bombastic guitar glitz from the way back machine. Stumbling along the same gutters as Slade, Gary Glitter, Bay City Rollers, Cocksparrer. Oh, you best get to buyin' this.It's makin' all the skinheads fall in love!

JOHNNY MARR- The Messenger
While his former partner Morrissey has made consistently good records since the break up of the Smiths, Johnny Marr has flitted about, joined other people's bands and formed his own(Pretenders, Bryan Ferry, Modest Mouse, The Cribs, The The, The Healers etc), experimented, mucked about, made money and changed his hairstyle multiple times. He's always been interesting, but he's never lived up to his legend for shit. Not playing wise, not any-wise. Clearly, getting away from his legend was what was important to him in those years. All that changed rather abruptly and violently with the release of his newest solo album "The Messenger" this year. It's catchy, rockin', emotive, dark, perfect. Lurching about the same atmospheric, anthemic, dark alleyways as Echo And The Bunnymen, Joy Division, The Smiths, The Church, etc.

NIKKI HILL- Here's Nikki Hill
Wow. Just wow. This very classy, very raunchy, very inspiring lady came out of nowhere in the last year or two and already she's being touted as the next Tina Turner. Her husband and guitarist Matt Hill is the perfect foil for her soulful, raspy and sweet as-needed vocals. Matt keeps it raw and bluesy, slashing at his beat up Fender slab like Ike Turner. You've now noticed two Ike and Tina references, but I'm not talkin' about fisticuffs. I'm talking about very obvious true love and fated partnership. These kids are formidable and adorable together, and this record is fuggin' brilliant.You like Otis? Early Ike and Tina? Early Black Crowes, Small Faces, Little Richard, late 60s early 70s Stones? Who doesn't love that stuff? You'll love this.

IN SOLITUDE-Sister
Sweden's In Solitude are probably the greatest young metal band to come along in 20 years. Less gimmicky and silly than their more popular counterparts Ghost,they nonetheless share that band's gift for haunting melody and punchy guitar dirges. This record dips into 80s UK Goth territory for sure. There is a definite Sex Gang Children/Ausgang/Birthday Party-esque quirkiness to some of the guitars, and the melodies are darker, catchier and more coherent on this album. "Sister" on the whole is also slower and more atmospheric than the last. For fans of Sisters Of Mercy, early Iron Maiden, NWOBHM, Ausgang, Joy Division, King Diamond,etc

LION'S LAW- A Day Will Come
This album punched me in the very taint! IN MY TAINT! Anthemic, catchy, sing along boot boy rock and roll played by a bunch of prole Skins from Paris (of all places). Really strong, solid songwriting with a sing along in every tune. Hard as nails, rocking Les Paul and Marshall Half-Stack guitar wallop throughout, and melodic but raw throated vocals. Punk ain't dead, it just shaved it's head. Kicking big Doc Martens down the same violent streets as Cocksparrer, Angelic Upstarts, Sham 69, The Clash, 4 Skins, Cockney Rejects, etc. OI!

NIKKI HILL AND DEKE DICKERSON-Soul Meets Country
Nikki Hill makes a second appearance in my countdown, yes ma'am. She is that awesome. Paired with the extremely personable Deke Dickerson, she shines blindingly on this four song EP of country-inflected soul tunes. Her soulful wail sits nicely next to Deke's warm, calming country drawl. One definitely misses a kick-ass Matt Hill guitar solo here and there, but other than that I hear no flaws on this frickin' superb vinyl platter. As great as Deke is on this, if Nikki ever decides to duet with Dwight Yoakum I will soil my undergarments (and yours) in utter drooling joy. So if you collect Stax and Sun singles with equally insistent grabby-fingers, you will enjoy this 'un, boogie chilluns.

SATYRICON- Satyricon
Norse Black Metal legends Satyricon return with this stripped down, pummeling, slinky temptress of an album. It's perfect for the bleak winter with its brittle icy guitars and blasting, freezing rain drum beats. For fans of Norse BM (which does NOT stand for Bowel Movement, in this case)and classic NWOBHM.

ANYTHING THAT CAME OUT ON WILD RECORDS THIS YEAR.
The best roots music label in the world right now. Special props for releasing Aussie rockabilly/r'n'b prodigy Pat Capocci's brilliant record "Call Of The Wild". Pat's gonna be the next JD McPherson if he gets half a chance. The label also dropped incredible sex bomb platters by The Black Mambas, The Hurricanes and more this year. Rockabilly, garage rock, classic punk, blues, you name it, they are cornering the market on it. Seriously, dummies, Wild Records. Google it.

UNCLE ACID AND THE DEADBEATS-Mind Control
This would make my list just for the brilliant Beatles meets Sabbath style pop dirge "Poison Apple" alone. Inventing a new, more specific meta-genre with every release, Brit garage-pop-metal-biker-horror-glitter-doomsters Uncle Acid are part of a new wave of accessible, classic sounding hard rock/metal bands that appeal to non metal heads and metal heads alike. For Fans of early Black Sabbath, The Beatles, "Man Who Sold The World" era Bowie, MC5, early Alice Cooper, Blue Cheer, The Sonics, The Cramps, Electric Wizard.

JD WILKES AND THE DIRT DAUBERS-Wild Moon
The hipper among you may remember JD Wilkes from his former band Th' Legendary Shack Shakers, who were a powerhouse punk-blues-rockabilly juggernaut of a live act in the early 2000s. His lyrics have always been filled to the brim with backwoods good'n'evil, every song a scintillating story of sin, hellfire and redemption snatched away. He has lightened up a bit with his newer outfit the Dirt Daubers, who have always been a sort of Shack Shakers Lite, incorporating more folksy, acoustic, bluegrass style sounds. On the new Daubers platter "Wild Moon" however, the band has amped up the Chicago Blues style tube overdrive on the guitar and turned in a rocking disc full of darkly compelling tunes. The secret weapon here is Jessica Wilkes (JD's wife) who lends her sultry vocals and thump-heavy doghouse bass playing, among other things, to this slinky blues-devil of an album. For fans of scratchy old blues and bluegrass 78s, Legendary Shack Shakers, The Cramps, etc.

That's it, people. I'm sure I forgot something, but I grow weary, and require a sandwich. Please support the artists I've named here, and for your sake and mine, check out more independent music. Remember, folks...your next door neighbor could be a better songwriter than Lady Gaga (and probably is)...who would you rather support? -CM

5 Sentence Heavy Metal Record Reviews!

I have alot of new records to review, peoples of the universe. Usually, I get bogged down in over describing, effusive praise, negative griping, or jokes and jokes and jokes. Not anymore, groovy funk bitches of the interwebbings. I give you 5 sentence record reviews! since heavy metal is about the most intersting genre currently, with the highest number of decent releases, I'm pretty much sticking to that. Y'all know I love punk, power pop, country, rockabilly, etc. and y'all know I love typing the words punk, rockabilly, etc. and listing what I love. Today is about retro-metal. Understand and get with it!



GHOST- Infestissumam
King Diamond, Freddy Mercury and the members of Jellyfish walk into a bar. I don't have a punchline, it's already funny. This album is great as cartoon, tongue in cheek satanism, it's great as arena style cock-rock, and it's amazing as a Jellyfish style baroque pop record. This band is brilliant beyond words. Can't wait for the inevitable action figures and lunch boxes.



UNCLE ACID & THE DEADBEATS-Mind Control
The mysterious British Doom-Pop band's third album finds them honing the craft that made their previous effort "Blood Lust" so insanely good. Basically, there is no better description than " Early'70s Black Sabbath meets late '60s Beatles". Dark, "Hammer Horror" influenced lyrical themes. Crushing Iommi-esque guitars and catchy two part harmonies in the Lennon/Harrison tradition. They're gonna be huge.



BLACK SABBATH-13
Unbelievably, miraculously,jaw-droppingly, this group of rich, fat old farts have made an album in their dotage that could sit comfortably alongside their best 60s and 70s output. Rick Rubin has clearly forced them to listen to their own classic records and go back to doing what they were once capable of doing. Sadly, it's not an all retro, all the time affair. The production is modern-ish and some of Ozzy's melodies do remind one slightly of his early solo work circa Randy Rhoads, which is not period correct, but still OK with this old codger. IT'S EVEN GOT HARMONICA, ALA "The Wizard"!



CHURCH OF MISERY-Thy Kingdom Scum

Japanese Boogie Doom Metal with a very disturbing serial killer fixation.This album finds them hitting all of the usual buttons, just louder, angrier, and more pummeling than usual. This band seems to juggle vocalists and guitarist often, but the guys that replace the other guys sound exactly like the first guys, so it's totally okie-dokie. I will say that the band switched guitarists again recently and the new guy is just slightly more metal and less groove-boogie than the other guy. I don't approve of that entirely, sirs, and while this album is good, it's definitely no "Houses Of The Unholy".



IGGY & THE STOOGES-Ready To Die
Not metal, exactly, but certainly proto-metal. Reviews for this, the first new Stooges album (with what's left of the "Raw Power" line up) since 1973 or thereabouts, have not been good. I say pish posh, good sirs, and a pox upon your houses. It does sound more like an Iggy solo album with James Williamson on guitar, but would you rather an Iggy solo album WITHOUT James Williamson on guitar? Go buy it, it rocks, it's funny, it's stupid, and it's loud.

THANK YOU, sassy kitten dancers of the internet. This has been 5 Sentence Heavy Metal Reviews. You can go back to your baby pictures and cute puppy videos now.

Heavy Doom Coming Down: My Secret Love Of Doom Metal

I love a ton of different styles of music. If it has loud guitars, I like it. In fact I think that if I had to sum up what I like, I'd say "guitar music". Everything, and I do mean everything that I like has the electric guitar as it's core element. To look at me, though, you'd probably think I was a rockabilly, or a punk, or one of those greaser hot rod dudes. Most of that sort of fits. I do love classic country, rockabilly, psychobilly and all forms of punk rock, power pop, etc. Occasionally I'll shave my head and people will think I'm into Oi, Soul and Ska. I like those things alright. Another passion of mine is probably my earliest one: classic Heavy Metal. When I was 16 or 17, in the late 1980s, I had nipple length hair and listened to a ton of thrash metal, power metal, pop metal, glam metal, you name it.

When I cut all my hair off and "went punk" in my very early 20s, I started denying my heavy metal heritage. Certainly by the time that the vomit stinking tide of "Nu-Metal" (an abomination, for those of you lucky enough to have escaped the knowledge: A cross between rap, metal and funk. It was awful) took over the world of heavy music, I had entirely lost interest. I was off discovering rockabilly, hardcore, country, post-punk, and all the other delicious morsels of guitar music I could get my red and sweaty ham-fingers on.

In the mid 2000s, though, as Nu Metal's sickening testosterone fart-grunts faded into the distance, I started getting curious about what was going on in Metal again. There were some really young kids at my job who wore Iron Maiden shirts and talked about how great King Diamond was, and I wondered how these young bucks knew about such glorious forgotten gold-nuggets from my rock'n'roll past. Turns out, metal was getting big again. With good reason. These youngsters turned me onto new (not "Nu") metal bands such as Municipal Waste, Mastodon, High On Fire, 3 Inches Of Blood, Toxic Holocaust, etc. younger bands that remembered the ancient ways of good ol' forged in fire heavy metal. Thankfully, my good pal Damian started getting re-obsessed with the genre right around that same time, and began buying truckloads of new and old metal CDs and sharing them with me. Metal was back, and i was back into it, and could not for the life of me think of why I'd ever left the fold. Damian and I went to a buttload of metal gigs and got to see some serious greatness.

In the last five years, the scene has only gotten better. Especially the Scandinavian chapter who have produced such perfectly thrilling and chilling bands as Ghost, Graveyard, In Solitude, etc etc. The metal sub genres are endless. Your traditional Thrash, Crossover (which is hardcore punk + metal), Death Metal, Grindcore, Black Metal, Stoner Metal, Power Metal, plus your innovative Death N' Roll, Black 'N'Roll, Blackened Thrash, Blackened Death Metal, etc etc I could go on and on.

For me, metal is great when it's simple, raw, brutal and ugly. Early Bathory and Celtic Frost are good examples. I also like it when it's slow, heavy, atmospheric and spooky. Which brings me to a fairly new-ish obsession of mine. Doom Metal.

Doom metal starts with the Blues. Howlin' Wolf Epics like "Killing Floor" and "Goin' Down Slow" have the heavy rhythms, desperate, fatalistic lyrics and wailing guitars that would inspire English kids like Led Zeppelin and the Yardbirds to pick up guitars and start livin' the hard life. The blues was also obsessed with the Devil, and warnings of the evils of sin were as common as celebrations of the joys of same, sometimes by the same artist in the same song. Robert Johnson was said to have sold his soul to the devil in exchange for the frantic guitar genius that possessed him before he was murdered in 1938.

One of Howlin' Wolfs' heaviest riffs was "Smokestack Lightnin'". Does this sound like doom metal to you? Not yet. but if you bear with me it'll all start to make sense in a minute. Witness the blues.



When four British kids from the tough industrial wastelands of Birmingham , England finally heard the blues in the mid-1960s, they wanted to play it too. When they did it, it sounded like this. And Doom Metal was born.



Black Sabbath were, without a doubt, the first heavy metal band. Which makes doom metal the first heavy metal. The Sabs single handedly invented metal by playing the blues harder and louder than anyone had before, and adding black magic, hippy anti-war sentiments, a cloud of pot smoke and horror movies to the mix. Metal soon innovated itself away from some of these precepts. It got faster, harder, uglier and ditched most of the hippy sentiments entirely, embracing the hard, cruel urban decay of hardcore punk. Doom Metal, however, evolved from fans of Black Sabbath that didn't want change or innovation. They wanted to embrace the doom and darkness and the death of the hippy ideal. Just as Sabbath ended the 1960s with their storm clouds of heavy doom, these bands helped to end their respective decades with batwings, heavy chunks of riff destruction and reefer smoke. The next great doom band was Pentagram.



These guys were so doom, they couldn't even make a full length record for the first ten years of their existence. Frontman Bobby Liebling was so doom, he couldn't stop doing drugs and trying to end himself long enough to put down a whole lot of music in the band's original 1970s incarnation. Fortunately for him though, and for us, what he did put down ( a couple of fly by night singles and rehearsal tapes that were collected and traded by the doom elite before they ever saw wide release)was so good that it became legendary, and led to the first of the bands' many comebacks, in the 1980s. This time they did release an album, the absolutely legendary "Relentless". This thing is the modern doom touchstone. It is depressed, drug addled death-blues of the highest (lowest) order. This time, a harder, 1980s style metal sheen was present in the guitars, and the Ozzy like vocals. The atmosphere of claustrophobic doom and anxiety was palpable in the sounds and the depressed hippy lyrics.



After Pentagram, another band of throwbacks in bellbottoms came shuffling along, scowling and howling into the wind. Witness the mighty SAINT VITUS.



They were so doom, they signed to a hardcore punk label (SST, home of Black Flag) and toured with mostly punk bands, whose audiences mostly hated them. They were so doom, they liked being hated. Punks despised hippies, and Vitus, like Sabbath and Pentagram before them, LOOKED like hippies, despite being more like punks in reality than most punks were, if you're pickin' up what I'm puttin' down. So the very clique-ish hardcore kids of the 1980s were horrified and angered by Saint Vitus' slow, dirgey, doomy songs and satan-hippy image. For awhile. Before too long, punk and metal crossover was pretty common, and you could be a punk with long hair or a metalhead with short hair. But that's a whole other blog. After Vitus taught the punks about Iommi, lots of bands started popping up all over who took the leaden, ominous, Frankenstein stomping tempos of Sabbath and brought them forth into the modern age. Trouble from Chicago were one, as were Candlemass and Cathedral from Sweden and the UK, respectively. Witchfinder General, also from the UK, were part of the "New Wave Of British Heavy Metal" in the early 80s. They took a Sabbath obsession to punky places and replaced the fatalistic doom message with day-glo comic book schlock-horror. As a result, they were pretty damn great. The 1980s and early 1990s were full of great examples of mid period doom. Also being born (again) in this period was stoner metal. Stoner metal is basically doom metal WITHOUT the horror, death and gloom themes. I like some of it, but it's not as interesting to me without the macabre, spookhouse, death-hippy acid flashback element. One "stoner" band who has delved more and more into the murky blood-waters of pure doom is England's ELECTRIC WIZARD. They are perhaps the greatest doom band the world currently has to offer.



Japan's CHURCH OF MISERY are one of my newest favorites in the heavy death-hippy genre. They have HUGE rollicking riffs, a great 60's LSD murder-hippy image, and all their lyrics are about serial killers. Pretty much genius. They remind me of Japanese Misfits worshippers Balzac in that they take all the best elements of their genre and distill them into a perfect product. probably the best solid example of a doom band going right now.



Also amazing are San Fran's ORCHID. They are so Black Sabbath sounding, that I imagine their newest record is a better Black Sabbath record than the original Sabbath are capable of making these days. Witness the pretty much perfect late 1960s stoned and satanic vibe they've got going in their new vid:



I would be remiss if I did not mention ex-Pantera vocalist Phil Anselmo's band DOWN. Possibly the biggest ever doom band after Sabbath themselves, these guys took Doom to a whole new, punky, thrashy, scarily aggressive level. Their first album "Nola" is a classic of the "southern doom" chapter of the genre.



One thing that almost all doom bands have in common, and I really can't find many that don't share this element (besides Pentagram, who favored Les Pauls and Down, who can afford to use different guitars for every song), is the Gibson SG. The SG is THE guitar of doom, having first been adopted by Sabbath guitar god Tony Iommi in the late 1960s.

Here's Saint Vitus Dave Chandler with his SG.

Here's Electric Wizard's Liz Buckingham with hers.

If you want to be Doom Metal, you pretty much need to have a Gibson SG.You also need to see a couple of movies. Below are just two examples.


And lest we forget the one that started it all:"Starring the personable Mark Damon, and lush and lovely women. Even though one of them is from the netherworld!"


Well sir, I'm running out of time here, but I hope I have hipped you to the gloomy thundercloud stomp of doom metal. It's a fun and funky rock'nroll sub genre that more than puts the black in your sabbath.

What This Year Has Done To Us All: The Best Records of 2011.

Howdy cowpokes. So this has been one crazy year, eh? Eh? Political turmoil, economic despair, personal upheaval, this year had the whole plate of nachos with the guacamole and everything.

As for me, I moved back to Michigan (Ann Arbor/Ypsi) from Boston and that is going to have to be a whole other blog, because I have alot to say about that. Huge changes for me. As always, music mattered. It's the one constant in my life, and if you're reading this, maybe yours, too. I don't "have" religion, so I need a belief system. I betchya by golly wow that music is that system o' belief. And unlike Christianity, you can dance to it.

Here are my picks for the best ten albums I heard this year. I like alot of genres. I follow alot of different scenes and movements. I can tell you that while everything good is wholly underground these days, there are alot of great songs being written and alot of great music being made. I consider myself a Rock And Roll fan. And to me that encompasses Rockabilly, Blues, Soul, Metal, Country, Punk, Garage...anything fun and soulful, anything that sounds good loud. Anything with guitars, that is, as you will not find me listening to rap or techno or most modern pop music. Let us not dawdle any longer in the lobby of awesomeness. Let's walk right in the main entrance, shall we?

10) Wanda Jackson-The Party Ain't Over
Hometown hero Jack White did quite a number on Loretta Lynn's career a few years back, making her "relevant" again with a modern sounding album of country/rockabilly nuggets that went down smooth and nutritious, like a hot bean burrito on a winter's day. Pretty much the same deal with my fave female rockabilly singer, the one and only Wanda Jackson. In her mid 70s, Wanda is still full of life and rock'n'roll kicks, with a mega dose of country soul slathered on top. I've seen her live a few times in the last couple of years and she has always been a good time. Elvis thought so, too, back in the 50s when the two briefly dated. Jack White's energy and inventiveness is a present force on this record, but he doesn't step all over the main instrument here which is Wanda's growling hellkitten of a voice. She hasn't lost a single iota of firepower and man, I likes me some of that. It's a fun album, and if you like rockabilly and country sounds, you should own it.

9)Burzum- "Fallen"
You know, I almost put Amon Amarth's "Surtur Rising" on here instead. Because although this new Burzum release is a better album and way more interesting, Amon Amarth are sort of less challenging politically. An album made by mead swilling viking metalheads is sort of easier to wrap one's head around than an album made by a known racist and convicted murderer. These are the times we live in , folks. I probably don't have to tell you that Varg Vikernes, who is Burzum and plays every instrument on all Burzum records (for the most part), was convicted of burning churches in his home country of Norway as well as killing his former bandmate and modern Black Metal mastermind Euronymous back in the 90s. His politics have always leaned heavily to the right. Having said that, his music is often compelling and bordering on genius. This is Burzums' second release since Varg's release from prison (the Norwgian criminal system is, uh, very lenient), and while it is typically dense and challenging, it's much less so than any other Burzum album, and there are even moments of, dare I say it? Commercialization. Apparently this album was very influenced by the early recordings of the Cure, and despite being a metal album, this is obvious right away. There is a very attractive melancholy beauty here, despite the harshness of Varg's vocals and the tinny screech of his guitars. This album is perfect for walking or driving around on a quiet, overcast day, much like alot of 80s British Goth Rock. Don't get me wrong, it's still metal. The guitars are loud and staccato and the vocals are growled and screeched. But it's still kind of, well...pretty. Varg has even toned down his vaugely right wing lyrics for this album, in fact you'd be hard pressed to find one right wing statement. Whether this is a result of a rethinking of policy or just an attempt to sell more records, I don't know. I'm going to say I doubt it's a rethinking of policy. Either way, this is definitely Burzum's best album, and while I disagree with Varg's politics completely, I really, really like this album. If you can get past Varg's past, you'll probably dig it too.

8)Mayer Hawthorne- "How Do You Do"
Another Ann Arbor/Detroit homeboy, Mayer is sort of the smooth, Motown style equivalent to Boston's rowdy faux-Stax style soul shouter Eli "Paperboy" Reed. Reed gets into serious gutbucket territory ala southern 60s soul sounds, while Mayer sticks to smooth, shimmering, Motown style sophistication. This is a great album, not just because Snoop Dogg guests on it and does not rap but actually SINGS. It's a great album because Mayer is a true soul disciple and plays it close to home with a much needed modern day recycling of those classic all but forgotten 60s Motown sounds. People say he's a poser, but the proof is in the soul pudding. And this album, while never making you forget how great Motown was, is some pretty tasty soul pudding.

7)Graveyard- Hisingen Blues
Long hair, western shirts, bellbottoms, stoned-slack facial expressions, vintage guitars, and some of the most depressive, angry, sullen, haunted lyrics this side of the first Black Sabbath album? Sign me right the fuck up, Graveyard from Sweden! This record writhes and punches like the best 60s stoner rock/metal, but it does so with such an undercurrent of misery and paranoia that it actually out-glooms alot of the more obviously gloomy stuff from back then, and adds a thoroughly modern punky urgency to boot. And lest I forget, the songwriting is flawless. If you wish Soundgarden had brains, you'll like this album. If you wish Black Sabbath had better breath, you'll dig this swingin' platter. If you wish Pentagram had bothered to write songs while getting stoned before the recording session, this is the album for you.

6)Chris Isaak- Beyond The Sun
I've been a fan of Chris Isaak's gloomy sullen rockabilly-pop for years now. I've seen him live twice and actually met the man himself randomly wandering around Boston one summer day. Nice fella. Chris has always been an obvious rockabilly/country nut (I mean, look at his hair, man), and this double album of covers recorded at the famed Sun Studios in Memphis finally puts proof to that well known assumption. Covers of Elvis, Jerry Lee, Roy Orbison, Johnny Cash, etc etc are all given a modern sheen that amps up the game a bit. The world famous Sun Records slapback echo/delay is served in heaping helpings here, and Chris' amazing voice warmly glides through the songs in a natural way that few modern rockabilly singers could manage. The one slightly less shining moment is the Chris Isaak original that, while not a terrible song, does not sit well with the classic, timeless greatness of the covers. Ignore that, and you have one stomping, greasy hellfire of a party album. Simply sublime.

5)In Solitude- The World. The Flesh. The Devil.
Sweden's In Solitude bring me back to my pimply adolescent metal head days, both looking and sounding like the coolest NWOBHM band that never happened. A great occult/black metal/punk image, really solid, catchy ass songwriting and a huge King Diamond influence really seal the deal for me. I love, love, love this record. See my earlier piece on the band in my post "You Too Can Have The Stamina Of The Cavemen".

4)The Smoking Popes- This Is Only A Test
I've loved these Chicago pop punk legends ever since they opened for Morrissey on his 1993 "Your Arsenal" tour. The big hype then was that the Popes sounded like Morrissey singing for the Ramones, and that's still somewhat true, but as they've evolved as a band, they've become more sophisticated musically. The big criticism of their recent records is that they've started sounding like all the emo-pop-punk bands that they influenced. Not sure if that's true, because I don't listen to that kind of garbage juice. I do know that alot of bands like Dashboard Confessional or whoever have turned a love for the Popes' melancholy love lorn pop punk into a maudlin mock rock mope fest. But that's not the Popes' fault. This record could have been a huge joke, as it's...yes... a "concept" record, sung from the perspective of a high school kid. Yeah, that IS sort of lame, and it would have fallen flat without the glorious pop songwriting of the Caterer clan (three fourths of this band are related to each other by blood). The songs are GREAT, especially the exuberant "Punk Band", the story of a youngster finally finding some joy in the world as the singer of a high school punk band going on tour in a van. Uh, it's way better than it sounds.

3)Beady Eye- Different Gear, Still Speeding
I'm a huge Oasis fan and I don't care who knows it. The very British loud guitar pop of the Gallagher Bros will always have a special place in my blackened, stinking heart valves. They updated the British Invasion sounds of the 60s and became sort of a 90s version of the Who or Small Faces. NOT, as they'd prefer, a 90s version of the Beatles, but pretty good job nonetheless. This is Oasis' first album without their main songwriter, the elder Gallagher brother Noel. Noel is solely responsible for not only virtually every classic Oasis tune, but virtually every shitty Oasis tune as well. So the big question was could the lads pull it off without their songwriter? Answer is...pretty much. These songs sound very much like a punkier, faster Oasis. Liam Gallagher's snotty Johnny Rotten meets Johnny Lennon voice does tend to grate after awhile, without the warmer tones of his brother's voice to balance it out. Still, extremely derivative but awesome songs like "The Roller" and "Beatles And Stones" are loud, fun, and catchy as hell, with a really great vintage guitar buzz throughout. It's no "Definitely Maybe", but this album is definitely not the pile of shite some people hoped it would be.

2)Michael Monroe-Sensory Overdrive
As a sensitive, tiny, small town metal head I gravitated towards the glam-flash and rockin' power pop'n'roll tunes of mighty Finnish band Hanoi Rocks. They were my favorite band for years and years, and I wore out the grooves on every album they ever made several times. When I started listening to Hanoi, I realized that Motley Crue and Ratt probably weren't as great as I initially thought, and started on the road to learning about punk rock and classic rebel rock'n'roll. I have Hanoi to thank for alot of the music I got into. They changed my life and opened up new worlds to me. They were a truly great, great band. The post-Hanoi bands and projects of many of it's members were not always so great. Andy McCoy in particular kind of became a terminal let down. Michael Monroe, the singer who unfortunately inspired both Vince Neil and Axl Rose, fared better. Most of Mike's albums and projects throughout the years, with the exception of the truly horrible Jerusalem Slim, have ranged from the pretty good to the truly great. His last perfect album was under the band moniker Demolition 23, way back in the 90s. Until now. Drafting the songwriting talents of Ginger Wildheart (of the Wildhearts, another highly influential but largely unsung band)was the first brilliant move on Monroe's part. Getting two fifths of the revamped New York Dolls in the band was the second (including Mike's old Hanoi Rocks bassist the effervescent Sami Yaffa, now in the modern version of the reformed Dolls). The live shows of this line up are already legendary, and the album is close to perfect. A roaring riff monster of a hard rock record,this thing channels the Stooges, Alice Cooper, AC/DC, The Wildhearts, Dead Boys,and the UK Subs in only the finest ways. It is high voltage riff-punk of the highest order. The one song that lets up the pummel-age is the country-rock tinged "Gone Baby Gone" which, while not a bad song at all, sort of unwittingly rips off the Eagles rather than paying tribute to Gram Parsons,as any country rock tune should. The lyrical content of alot of these songs seems to deal with being an older rocker in a young hipster's world. Drug problems, aging, bad relationships,dead heroes, survival. It's pretty life affirming for an old rocker like me and likely an education for any young wannabe glam-punksters out there. An amazing return to form and a great rock album this is. "Chart the course we're on, flog that dying swan, aim that poison dart towards the center of your heart", indeed.

1)JD McPherson- "Signs And Signifiers"
I had no idea at all who this guy was six months ago, and now his new record is numero uno on my year end hit parade. JD is an Oklahoma born and based rockabilly cat best known for his previous band the Starkweather Boys. He hooked up with Chicago based rockabilly bassist Jimmy Sutton, who happened to own and run his own retro rockin' label, Hi Style Records. Add a few permutations of fate, some other rock'n'roll hoodoo and various jump blues calamities, and you have this album. It is a rocking, moody, fearsome, jumpin', jivin' and wailin' monster. The first thing that jumps out at you is this kid's voice, which sounds like it's coming out of a 300 pound black guy from the '40s, not a little white rockabilly geek. The second is the songwriting, which apes and reinvigorates 40s and 50s jump blues in a similar way to the way Eli Reed apes and reinvigorates 60s soul. You can sort of tell it's not the real thing if you have a trained ear, but even then, it really could be the good, old righteous stuff. Songs like the title track and " A Gentle Awakening" take JD's music out of the retro ghetto into something much more modern and relevant, while still retaining the vintage tone and feel. This guy would make an awesome duet partner for PJ Harvey, and I'd love to hear him tackle a Nick Cave song. Like pretty much all modern rockabilly cats, he cites punk rock as an early formative influence, as well as some English post punk. You can't hear this in his music, but you can feel it. I can't do justice to how great this record is in words, but maybe this'll help....




There you have my picks for the best of this past year. Anything else I need to check out?

You Too Can Have The Stamina Of The Cavemen!

Here I am, updating this piece of duck vomit again, like, 6 months later. I suppose Google would send me a check every now and then if I turned the ads back on. They bugged me something right and proper.

As some of you may know, I cannot stop listening to music. I use it as a drug of sorts, influencing and reflecting moods and anxieties and as a general emotional barometer and stabilizer. I get bored very, very quickly, and as such, I listen to about a thousand different kinds of music. Well, essentially everything I listen to falls under the "rock and roll" banner, at least to me. But the variations are endless.

Although I am certainly known in most elite circles as a Rockabilly/Punk kind of guy, with certain Mod and power pop leanings, I must confess that I have long been into heavy metal. It was the first music I listened to back in my pre-teen and teen daze,in the ahem, 1980s, not to date myself, wink-wink-nudge-nudge. I have followed it with varying degrees of interest ever since. My lowest point of interest was the mid 90s "Nu Metal" phase of the genre, which was, as you know, ridiculous. I'm not even going to get into the jock haircuts, white person dreads and blow dried chest hair patches, let alone the turgid non-songs of this era. My interest in Metal was at an all time low in my 20s. While I was discovering rockabilly, 70s punk and new wave, power pop and post punk, the rest of the world was wearing red baseball caps backwards and rapping over poorly played Metallica riffs.

Within the past few years there has been a resurgence in interest, and an overall raising of the quality of, Heavy Metal music. As a result, lots of hipster kids and old jaded vets alike are jumping back on the metal bandwagon, myself included. My interest usually peaks in difficult times. For instance during a break up or a rough patch in a relationship. During a depression. When my job is killing me. When I'm broke. During a particularly vicious bout of gas. It dovetails with my interest in horror movies. In bad times, I need the escapism. I need the full body work out that the violence of the music serves up. I need the "I'm a bad ass Satan worshiping kind of fellow, indeed sir" chest puffing machismo. I also imagine that the music reminds me of the comfort and safety of my teen years, when I listened to almost exclusively metal.

Of course Heavy Metal as a genre is patently absurd. But that's the point. Metal is over the top. It is ridiculous. It is sometimes borderline retarded, if you'll forgive me the use of that word. The bottom line here is that metal helps us, it does not hurt us. And in this last year, the quality of Swedish Heavy Metal in particular has been astonishing. Below I'm going to thrust my gilded sword into a few new records that almost anyone can get into,even if you're not a metal maniac. If you are already a metal fan, you'll consider these classics in the coming years, mark my words and heed them well. Let's hold hands and discover, shall we?

GHOST- Opus Eponymous (Rise Above Records)
This is the year's big splash, the "it girl" of metal bands. Six anonymous Swedish musicians, faces hidden behind masks and hoods, got together and recorded one of the catchiest retro-70s pop metal records of all time. Is it even metal? There are some metal riffs, for sure. Is it pop? Well, it's catchy. Who are these guys? Members of Swedish bands Repugnant and In Solitude, if you're asking me to guess. In fact, the scary masked pope guy who sings is rumored to be extremely cute and snuggly Repugnant vocalist Tobias Forge, aka Mary Goore. That's kind of disappointing, as that kid is about as dangerous as a side of curly fries. Aside from his metal projects, he also has a Swedish "dream pop" solo project. Hence the super catchy and well written songs on this album, I would say. This is faux-Satanic Scooby Doo pop-black metal at it's finest. Really well played, catchy riffs married to lush pop harmonies and a super creepy, King Diamond influenced B-Movie horror atmosphere. It is really, really, really good. A work of actual genius I would say. I can't stop listening to it. (Note: above pic of Ghost Pope is by my pal Damian Saiz.)




GRAVEYARD-Hinsignen Blues (Nuclear Blast Records)
This record is so steeped in 1970s Sabbath/Blue Cheer/Mc5/Pentagram hairy white blues man sludge that it's hard to get into at first. On second or third listen, the songs start to peek out from under the greasy long locks of hair, and you're stunned at how good they are. A very, very retro affair, not a note on this sounds as if it was recorded after 1973. And it's brilliant. The lyrics, the vocals, the guitars, all perfect. The album title refers to Hinsingen, Sweden, which is apparently Sweden's version of Detroit. That is to say, a burned out once-proud factory town that is as depressed and decaying as our own American Motor City. Hence the darkness and hazy half drunk/stoned desperation of this record. "Got no friends/ Only people that I know" sings vocalist Joakim Nillson (who should pick up a stage name, like Hairy Stardumpster, or something similar)on the opening track "Ain't Fit To Live Here", while the band clatters around him like tupperware dishes thrown by the Mc5. This record sold 1,000 copies in the US the week of it's release. Not one to follow trends am I, but I find myself listening to this record quite alot these days.



IN SOLITUDE- The World. The Flesh. The Devil. (Metal Blade Records)
I am an unabashed fan of early Iron Maiden and Mercyful Fate, two bands whose shrieking vocalists, acrobatic dual guitar noises and schlocky satanic imagery has long inspired the imaginations of pimply teenage boys the world over. When I heard this record by Sweden's In Solitude, I was instantly transported back to my teenage, metal loving, trying to grow a mustache but failing miserably days of olde. Except these young Swedes actually write better songs. It's like King Diamond without the annoying falsetto vocals, and like Maiden without the annoying history buff, check your thesaurus lyrics. The overwhelming vibe here is creepiness, Satan, fog drenched moors, magic, human sacrifice, evil old black castles in the rain, leering demons and most of all, solid catchy metal riffs and melodies. The singer is only 20 years old as I write this, but it's his rich, gimmick-free vocal delivery that makes this record, along with the perfect Maiden/Fate style dual guitar riffing of the guitarists. It is rumoured that some of the guys in this band are also in masked mystery band GHOST, and it would not surprise me. The guitar styles are very, very similar. Both bands pay homage to Mercyful Fate quite impressively, but even the writing style seems similar enough that it could be true. A great record with great songs. A metal band so good that non metal people might actually take notice.



ELECTRIC WIZARD- Black Masses (Rise Above Records)
The only non Swedish band on my little metal hit parade. These long running Brits are a Doom/Stoner/Sludge Metal institution, and this record, which is their lucky seventh full length release, boils the whole doom rock mess down to a finely crafted selection of real songs. It's definitely not pop, but it is catchy. Black Sabbath is (obviously) the reference point here, the only reference point really. If you doubt this, know that lead singer/guitarist Justin Osbourne (yes, really) actually cut the tips of his fingers off a few years back ala Tony Iommi. It was "an accident". Justin has "fully recovered". The over the top Sab worship doesn't stop there. In fact the only goal here seems to be to out Sabbath Sabbath, and they do, on several occasions. The thudding, lumbering, cumbersome beat is like zombie dinosaurs dancing in a graveyard, if you can dig that, and Jus Osbourne's vocals are very much like another person whose name also happens, by "accident", to be Osbourne. Downtuned, fuzz toned, funeral dirge guitars emit noxious clouds of death-funk while the lyrics spin their B-Movie horror tales of Satan, monsters, drugs and decadence. In short, quite a good little record. In my humble opinion this is their best record, along with "Witchcult Today". It's their most focused release(which is saying alot for a stoner band)to date, and it doesn't meander and wander as much as previous records tended to. Here we have a stoner band whose ADD meds are doing wonders. Electric Wizard also features Metal's very own version of Lux And Ivy, cute married couple Jus Osbourne and his lovely wife, guitarist Liz Buckingham. They play matching Gibson SGs, they both love Sabbath and 70s horror flicks and weed, and they're married. Adorable! Buy this record if you like damp moldy graveyards, Anton LaVey, and Karen Black. Oh, and Black Sabbath.

So that's my Metal Hit Parade. I now have a playlist consisting of just these four records that I listen to on my iPod constantly. These last couple of weeks have been kinda tough on all fronts and if not for my Metal, I don't know what I would have done. Until next time, fiends!!!!!!